The Art of Finding Your Daily Joy

00:00:00 - Andrew Dewar

Welcome to the five year Youth podcast, a show dedicated to helping you become the best version of yourself one day at a time. I'm Andrew.

00:00:09 - Catherine Collins

And I'm Cat. And we promise to keep it raw, real and relatable.

00:00:15 - Andrew Dewar

Are you ready to grow? This podcast is intended to entertain, educate and inspire you on a personal journey towards your best self. We are in no position to to give advice and our hot messes on the best of our days. Clearly, we're in no position to offer health or medical advice or really any life advice, but we want to entertain you. Just a reminder, this is not a replacement for proper medical care or therapy. If you are struggling, please seek help from a qualified health professional. Let's jump in. Welcome to today's episode. It is all about daily Joy. We've calling this episode finding the art of daily Joy because it's all about these little things that make us delight in our days as a blessing for this episode, you are hearing this for a reason. It's our intention that this episode's helped you along your journey with finding joy on a daily basis. Cat, before we jumped on the show, you were telling me how you came up with this and it totally caught me off guard because I wasn't aware of it. So do you want to share with everybody?

00:01:21 - Catherine Collins

Sure. For anyone who's just coming across us or our podcast, Andrew and I have been friends for many, many years, and we've been business partners for about six years. And so Andrew forgets different things that he's taught me along the way that have made such a big impact. And I was reminding him about this and I think he forgot that he taught me this and it's made such a big improvement in my life. So I think a couple of years ago, I must have been having a really crummy day or I must have been being really negative and whining about who knows what. And Andrew asked me, he said, Cat, do you have anything that you're looking forward to right now? Because I was in such a downspace and a down mood. I was like, I don't know. I don't think. Like, I was just not in a good spot. And he was like, it would really help you if you put something into your day every day to look forward to. And I'm like, okay, like what? Because what are the things we look forward to, Andrew? Like trips and fun times and.

00:02:33 - Andrew Dewar

Events.

00:02:34 - Catherine Collins

Yeah, you think of events in the future, but we don't have things that we look forward to day to day. At least I didn't. But you did. You were like, for example, you said, I have normal coffee pods, like whatever, your basic ones, and then I have my fancy. What was it like? Your know, whatever. Starbucks.

00:03:01 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, Starbucks. Because they're expensive.

00:03:03 - Catherine Collins

Yeah. And you were like, every morning I just quickly drink or chug the boring coffee. But once I'm at my desk, like, my third coffee of the day is always that. And you're like, I look forward to that nice cup of coffee. And I probably made fun of you because, well, it's what I do on the daily.

00:03:22 - Andrew Dewar

It is. You're very good at it, though.

00:03:24 - Catherine Collins

Thank you. But the thing was that you created something to look forward to. You gave yourself a daily joy for something as simple as a coffee pod.

00:03:37 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, that's right. I did. And still do. And thank you for reminding me of this because I had totally forgotten about it. And I kind of take that as I've gotten so used to doing it that it's just second nature now. So having those things to look forward to, like a trip or birthday party or just even a weekend event, they're all great. They kind of get you, the weekend event gets you through the week. The trip gets you through the winter or whatever it is you're going through. But having those little things throughout the day is just so precious and valuable to get your day going. So recently, since the coffee pod incident, using air quotes, I actually got an espresso machine. And now I have like an espresso first thing every morning. And I find that helps me get out of bed faster because I'm like, oh, I get to go have this 50 cent coffee that is going to just give me a nice little jolt. And it's just amazing how these things can transform your day for the better. And it's nice to have different ones throughout the day where you can kind of look at it and go, okay, I'm going to do this thing. And it's almost like a reset. It's like a reward, it's an incentive. It really does trigger a whole bunch of things in your brain.

00:04:58 - Catherine Collins

Yeah. I mean, I know my mom looks forward to doing the wordle after work every day, and I really think she makes it, like a thing. She has a very busy job and she's at the office all day and I think she gets home and she makes herself a tea and she kind of snuggles in and she loves puzzles and suduco and all that stuff. And so she does the wordle every day and she really looks forward to it all day to work on the word puzzle. And that's like another great example of this. But I think if you are feeling down or there's not much joy to your day, like I was when I learned of Andrew's coffee pot thing, this is something you can implement to help. Because in that moment years ago when I sat down and really thought about the answer to your question, no one had asked me that before. Are you looking forward to, like, I really sat down and was just like, no, every day is the same. Every day I'm taking care of these kids. Every day I'm picking up socks. Every day I'm making dinner. And life, especially if you're just sort of like, in these mid working years, you're paying bills, you got kids, you got pets. It can just get so repetitive where there's not a lot of little moments of joy and you get run down.

00:06:16 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, it really is an easy game changer. And like we're saying, you don't have to do anything really extravagant. It's just giving yourself permission. It's a form of self care in a way. You're giving yourself that treat of, like, when noon comes because we work at home. So when a certain time comes, then I'm going to go sit down on the couch or I'm going to go outside or I'm going to have a coffee. As is our addiction. And all these things that you can do to make it so much nicer, it just makes the day nicer to have those little things to look forward to. You don't have to go crazy with it. Even just having something, one thing to start with is just a great little habit to build because it really does propel you through the day or make you drink a lot more coffee, in my case.

00:07:05 - Catherine Collins

Yeah, either way. And then your handshake. But otherwise it's fine. I forgot another one of your things. So Andrew and I.

00:07:14 - Andrew Dewar

I don't know what you're going to say. Right.

00:07:18 - Catherine Collins

We, as part of our businesses over the years is we've owned a lot of blogs and websites. And every time we publish an article, Andrew ate a Lindor chocolate. And so he'd be like, did you publish the blog post today? Did you publish it? I'm like, yeah, I'm coming. I'm getting to it. It's because he wanted to eat that chocolate.

00:07:41 - Andrew Dewar

It really was.

00:07:42 - Catherine Collins

And it took me a while to realize you'd bought probably like the triple Costco version where you had like 100 Lindor chocolates in your closet.

00:07:51 - Andrew Dewar

That makes me sound like a closet eater. I'm not real fan of that.

00:07:55 - Catherine Collins

But, yeah, no, you're not a closet eater. You just had the chocolates in your closet that you would.

00:08:04 - Andrew Dewar

Well, they would have melted otherwise. Don't judge my methods.

00:08:11 - Catherine Collins

But you had the discipline to have that much chocolate and not eat it all. So that was pretty impressive. It was your little daily joy.

00:08:18 - Andrew Dewar

It really was. And I don't know where that will power came from, because every other chocolate would get eaten before it could get in the house. But with that one, it was like, no, I was very intentional about that.

00:08:31 - Catherine Collins

That's your article, chocolate?

00:08:33 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, that's my article, chocolate. And thank God, because I probably could have eaten 100 chocolates in a day and that would not have been good for me.

00:08:41 - Catherine Collins

No doubt about it.

00:08:42 - Andrew Dewar

So if you're listening to this right now and you're probably thinking, what are the things that I can do? And they don't have to be majestic, they don't have to be large, they don't have to be expensive. Even something as small as, like a 30 cent chocolate did it for me. That's all I needed, but I definitely looked forward to it.

00:09:08 - Catherine Collins

And you had a specific intention for it.

00:09:11 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah.

00:09:11 - Catherine Collins

And that's what makes the difference.

00:09:13 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, it was a reward. It was something to work forward to. Absolutely. And if you're looking for something, there's a whole bunch of different things. It can even be like if you work at home, it can be time with your pet. It can be like we said, coffee. I'm going to default to coffee and chocolate because those are really my two things.

00:09:34 - Catherine Collins

Those are the two vices.

00:09:36 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, but set it up. So when I do this task, I'm going to reward myself with this. And we've talked about power of habits before and atomic habits and everything, and that's just going to start setting up that cue for, oh, I know when I do this thing, I get a reward that I really like. So I'm going to keep doing this over and over again. I'm trying to do that with exercise right now because I know you're just hacking yourself, really, to be a little more productive. But it also does bring you quite a bit of joy throughout the day to be like, oh, I get to savor my chocolate. And if we published two articles in a day that was like cloud nine for me.

00:10:16 - Catherine Collins

Well, yeah. If you're sitting here like, well, this is silly, or this seems kind of dumb, like, why would I want to do that? And the point is, it is kind of silly, it is fun, and that's the point. It's that we are adding joy. If you are feeling like everything's sort of the same and you're coming here looking for ways to sort of brighten up your day, brighten up your life, it is proven that when we have things to look forward to, we are happier. So instead of having all these far off things, why not create a scenario in which you create them? And I read an article once about a guy who made his toothbrushing routine luxurious because he was trying to hack different things. And how can I take the mundane things I do every day and elevate them? And so he bought a super nice toothbrush. He bought toothpaste. He bought gadgets in the bathroom to put his toothbrush in and maybe a certain kind of mouthwash. He took everything about the most basic thing that we all do each morning, and he made it something that he looked forward to because he made it nice for himself. And if you can look forward to something as simple as brushing your teeth, well, you're starting the day off good. And that's the point here, is to turn ourselves into somebody who is positive most of the time, who has these sort of mental skills to get out of the tough situations, to appreciate the moments of contrast. But if you can take these little pieces of your day and make them a little bit better over time, well, then in five years, you're a drastically different person who has come to create this day with all these habits and all these little things that you're happy to wake up and you're looking forward to putting your feet on the ground.

00:12:07 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, that's right. That's exactly it. Like these small changes, they add up huge. Think of all the things that we've been able to accomplish. Think of all the articles we published that if I didn't have that, I can honestly say I don't think I would have pushed as hard. And it sounds so silly, but it's just how it is. What were some of the ones that you came up with?

00:12:25 - Catherine Collins

Well, I know for me, it's like Andrew and I, we try to. I mean, we're reading books all the time, usually five ish, a month or so. And some of the books we read are, like, to learn and grow and things like that. And then some of mine are just for the pure joy of just reading. I always look forward to the drive to pick up my kids because that is when I let myself listen to my fun book.

00:12:52 - Andrew Dewar

I like that.

00:12:53 - Catherine Collins

Like when I'm getting ready or putting my makeup on in the morning, I'm sort of listening to my. Like, I'm listening to the joy of movement right now, which is good, but it's definitely like a nonfiction, like, more instructional, interesting research based book. When I go pick up my kids, I'm going to be listening to whatever fun book I also have in the library at this moment. It's like 15 minutes of peace before it all goes boom.

00:13:19 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah. The time in between work and kids where you give yourself that 15 minutes of joy. I love that. I really like that. Do you have any others that you've come up with over the years since I apparently dropped this idea in your lap that I was unaware of?

00:13:36 - Catherine Collins

I definitely look forward to the coffee. Actually, when I moved into this new place, I had recently gotten divorced. Had to make the really hard decision to sell my dream home, and it was kind of like this sad, bummed out thing. And actually, Andrew purchased a coffee pot for me as a housewarming gift. And it has the keurig on one side, but it has the coffee pot on the other. And, man, those days where Catherine of the night before decided to gift. Morning, Catherine. Coffee in the pot. I look forward to. But you created the look forward to coffee thing versus me barely being alive and chugging it as a way to survive this thing called life. You have sort of taught me to kind of delicately slow down and kind of take those morning moments to enjoy things.

00:14:28 - Andrew Dewar

You're listening to this right now, and you're like, do we do anything besides drink coffee? And the answer is no. There is no us without coffee. Unfortunately, we don't exist.

00:14:38 - Catherine Collins

Sometimes we talk about cutting it out because we've both cut out alcohol the last two years, and then sometimes we're like, should we do that with coffee? And we're like, nah.

00:14:48 - Andrew Dewar

No. I did try to cut coffee out once, and it was the worst headache I have ever had. It was not good. So I'm fully in the coffee boat. I mean, they're going to bury me with, like, an espresso and some pods just in case. I can figure out how to work it down there. Just in case. Just in case. Because you never know.

00:15:09 - Catherine Collins

You never know. If anyone would do it, it'd be you.

00:15:13 - Andrew Dewar

Fair enough.

00:15:15 - Catherine Collins

I know it's silly and we're joking about it, but I think what we're trying to say is that you have an opportunity to turn the mundane into something that brings you joy.

00:15:29 - Andrew Dewar

I'm going to spitball a few different ideas because I know you and I have things that we're working on, and they are daily things for most people. My first one is like, doing laundry is not something that I think most of us look forward to. Doing laundry means that you get to watch a show that you like. Like you're folding the clothes while you watch the show on your phone or tv or whatever it is.

00:15:54 - Catherine Collins

Habit stacking.

00:15:56 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, exactly.

00:15:57 - Catherine Collins

You're trying to solve my laundry problems, but this is a far away problem that is going to take a whole team of scientists to come together in a think tank to really understand.

00:16:09 - Andrew Dewar

I would really like to solve the exercise conundrum. Like, I know I've got the fit on app and it's got the streak going and I'm really good at making sure I do the streak and not wanting it to end.

00:16:20 - Catherine Collins

I think I broke the streak yesterday. Now that we're talking about this, I don't know if I did fit on yesterday. That's okay because James clear says, just don't miss two days.

00:16:30 - Andrew Dewar

Just don't miss two days. Exactly. So for me, I just need to have something after that that's going to be that reward that. It's like, this is my reward for doing the app, whatever it is. I'm trying to get away from coffee and chocolate based because that's just way too easy.

00:16:49 - Catherine Collins

You get a piece of celery if you do the fit on app.

00:16:52 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah. Just doesn't have the same vibe. So it's all about just finding those little things that are going to make you do it. For me, the exercise one might be like a special kind of water or something like that. I know when I used to, I used to run five k every day and I would have like a coconut water afterwards because it was good, but it also did the electrolyte stuff or it helped on multiple levels. So it's kind of finding that something.

00:17:23 - Catherine Collins

I don't know if this will work for you, but I know for me, if I'm trying to make working out which we are more of a daily habit, I think changing into a different outfit or having something like, oh, again, it doesn't have to be fancy. You can go to Old Navy and find whatever, but just like changing into something or starting the day like that, it's kind of like I'm going to look forward because this is like my cute workout outfit and I get the coconut water after trying to make a thing of it. Just like the guy with the toothbrush. And this is us actively trying to use our brains on the health thing because we both go in and out of super active and the not active and we know it's good for our brains. We know that working out makes you happy, scientifically builds endorphins, makes you feel good, gives you energy. These are all things we both really need right now. I hope you don't mind me speaking for both of us. And so we're both trying to hack the exercise thing in real time.

00:18:25 - Andrew Dewar

For me, I've tried exercising in the morning and when I go for a walk, I like that because I'll listen to something specific. So I like that. But it's cold here and I don't like walking in the cold because I'm soft and it's really cold here. Normally it's Winnipeg. It is like -40 yeah, I'm canadian. It can be -40 this winter has been amazing. But even then, I just don't like walking outside in the cold. But I was just thinking, like, for the fit on thing, a nice thing for me is doing it in the evening and then getting into my nighttime routine. That's my start of my nighttime stuff.

00:19:07 - Catherine Collins

Where it's like I didn't pack it on, link it to the other habit.

00:19:12 - Andrew Dewar

When you said comfy, like the clothes thing, I'm like, that's a really good one that I had never considered. But to have your lounge clothes that you put on after your workout and you're like, okay, you feel you've accomplished what you wanted to do and you're able to go into the rest of the day, it's finding that thing that works for you and then stacking it together. I was going to say eating healthy is something that I am also working on. And I think what I'm going to do with that as what we've just been talking about. I actually like the brushing teeth. I knew you were after a meal. Yeah, because I've got like, that bluetooth toothbrush and stuff like that, which I've done the streak before and whatever with that, and it's great. But I think that's just a really nice mental cue of, like, I'm done eating now, and because it's not so.

00:20:03 - Catherine Collins

Much at night, you're cutting yourself off from snacks and stuff. So I think some sort of fancy mouthwash can't be more than whatever, I don't know, $10, $20. But you're like, no, I have used my expensive mouthwash. I am not going back for those cookies tonight. That's a good one.

00:20:24 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, I like that. I mean, my first thought was to go to a kid's toothpaste that was like really sugary and candy, but that probably wouldn't be the thing I was going for anyway, but yeah. So if you're listening to this right now and you're thinking, okay, I know there's things that I can incentivize myself. These things for daily joy, these little things. It doesn't have to be big. In fact, smaller and easier is better because you're going to have toothpaste. You're going to have the clothes that you wear. You may not have, I don't know, like a lint chocolate or Lindor chocolate in your pantry. So having those little ones that make sense that you don't have to, it's so automatic that it just happens and keeps going for you.

00:21:12 - Catherine Collins

I like that. I think that's really good. And so now I feel like people got to experience what it's like to listen into just one of our normal conversations. And it's not a bad thing. This is the kind of stuff we talk about because we're always trying to help each other figure out how to feel better, how to hack things, how to get more enjoyment out of life as a way to make this whole experience better, because it can be a rough one at times.

00:21:39 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah. And I can say, too, like, knowing that you got a tea to look forward to at the end of the workday or a coffee when you wake up or some other hot beverage that I default to. Those things are really good and branching out like we just did in the last five minutes of nice clothes, teeth brushing, whatever. These are all great little things that you can start implementing in your day that they cost nothing, they're easily done, and they're going to promote habits that you want to do anyways. It's kind of like the perfect recipe. Thanks for bringing this topic up, Cat. I think it's great.

00:22:17 - Catherine Collins

Yeah, for sure. I hope it's helpful to all of you listening here and if you want to take a good first step, I think it's just sort of write down some parts of your day that you could really easily sort of enhance or make interesting and sort of adapt it to your own personality, your own day, your own needs. And I think that you'll find yourself having a little bit more joy, a little bit more excitement during the day if you have something to look forward to, even if it's small.

00:22:46 - Andrew Dewar

Yeah, I don't think I got anything to add. I think that's great. So it's time for our glimmers, which.

00:22:52 - Catherine Collins

I feel like is perfect for this topic.

00:22:55 - Andrew Dewar

I do. Yeah, I think it's great. So what is your glimmer this week.

00:23:00 - Catherine Collins

Yeah. Well, for those of you who are new to this episode, glimmers are the just happy, sparkly things that bring us joy. And I think the fact that we put a glimmer in every episode shows our commitment to trying to look for the good in each day, each week, like trying to acknowledge the things that we're grateful for. And so I love doing the glimmer at the end of the joy episode. I had a major glimmer this week. Like, major. And the glimmer came in the form of a gift from my parents. I had a tough week this week with kids. Again, just these preteen things, school kids being hard or not nice, and your heart just breaks. And I called my dad a few days ago and I was crying on the phone to him, like, full disclosure, I was just like, I want to do so much for these kids, but I feel like I just can't do it all. I'm like, behind in my housework. I'm behind in my work. These kids are sad. And dealing with these bullies at school, I just felt like I was drowning. And my dad was like, well, the one thing I can help you with is the cleaning. Now, I have not lived next to my parents in like 1520 years. We've been at a distance. And my dad was like, just call up a cleaning service and have them come clean your house. And I was like, oh, you don't have to do that, dad. And he's like, no. He's like, I can't help with all of it, but that is something I can solve. And so sure enough, I looked up a cleaning service. They could come the next day, they cleaned my house for 7 hours. And I do not live in a big space. And it's not that it was just a deep, clean man. It just needed to be done. And as part of the service, they folded like four loads of laundry. Everything was behind. Everything was a disaster. And I'm really grateful. So if you're looking for a gift for a new parent, single mom, anybody, even. Just any parents with kids, even if it seems like they're managing things well, doing everything they're supposed to do, hiring a cleaning service for them for one day is probably better than anything you could ever buy at the mall for them.

00:25:19 - Andrew Dewar

That's awesome. That is amazing. That's a great glimmer. That's probably the best one I think we've had so far.

00:25:26 - Catherine Collins

No, I think I told my parents thank you, like 50 times. And I think they were like, we get it? You're welcome. You don't understand. I really needed that. So what's your glimmer today?

00:25:37 - Andrew Dewar

Okay, well, I'm going to lowball this one because I'm not.

00:25:42 - Catherine Collins

They're all good. Little big.

00:25:46 - Andrew Dewar

My glimmer this week is I got some grounding mats, which. So grounding is for your energy. People call it earthing as well. And I've got one on my desktop and I've got one for my feet. Maybe we'll do an episode on it at some point. But that's my glimmer is just like, what it does is you plug it into the grounding part of your electrical socket and you just put your feet on it and it can help with inflammation. It helps realign your internal energy, for lack of a better word. And I've been using it for a while now and I really, really like it. It's been very useful. So that's my glimmer. It's nowhere near as great as yours, but I love yours. Yours is like, awesome.

00:26:30 - Catherine Collins

I think people are so willing to help, they just don't know what you need. And so nothing like your kid calling you up, crying, even if your kid is old like me, and trying to fix something and help them. But no one knows what you need until you ask, which is another good lesson.

00:26:49 - Andrew Dewar

It's a good episode. Should we should think about doing, like asking for what you want because it's a good one.

00:26:55 - Catherine Collins

It is a good one, for sure. And the grounding one's good, too, especially because you just said how cold it is in Canada and how you don't want to walk outside. Like the grounding mats. When it's summertime, you can walk outside and your feet, and there's a lot of health benefits to that. But when you don't really want to do that, the grounding mat sort of gives you the same effect.

00:27:17 - Andrew Dewar

Nice. It's a good option. Yeah, for sure. All right, well, thank you all very much for listening, as always. We hope you enjoyed and we'll see you next time.

00:27:28 - Catherine Collins

See you next time. You.

00:27:30 - Andrew Dewar

Well, thank you for listening. Remember, it doesn't matter where you've started from or where you're coming from. It matters where you're going.

00:27:36 - Catherine Collins

And we are rooting for you. Close.